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Arrangements by Postcard Only, Please

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Vignette, 150 words, Mr Bach Vu does business as usual (also a scanned postcard and a link to a vintage song).
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I don't often write, but it did occur to me that Mr. Vu could do with some colleagues. After all, no one works in a vacuum.

In Which We Meet An Associate of Mr. Bach Vu, or, Hattitude! The MusicalCollapse )

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Ms chronographia requested that the infamous postcard assassin should make his presence felt in the world of Miss Jane Austen (and I was reminded why I find original writing easier than fan writing).


In which Lady Catherine De Bourgh is displeased with Mr Collins
A gentleman is shown into the parsonage at Hunsford:

"Your wife is from home, Mr Collins, with friends?"
"She's visiting Rosings to make my amends."
The gentleman sized up his host, took his measure,
"Her Ladyship sent me to show her displeasure."
"You condescend kindly...", the clergyman said.
His guest interrupted... and then cut him dead.
The priest met THE END of his brief interview
For flattery can't fend off Mr Bach Vu.


An Historic Ballad upon the far away Demesne of Queen Chronographia ICollapse )
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On chill hallowe'en at the dark midnight hour
When ghosties and ghouls reach the height of their power
They rise from the grave in a fell retinue
While entirely unflustered stands Mr Bach Vu.

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Alas for us all I realised that the metre and pronunciation of Mr Bach Vu is very reminiscent of MRS RAVOON in the Alternative Endings To An Unwritten Ballad written, contrary to the persistently incorrect "traditional English rhyme" attribution, by Paul Dehn and published in his 1956 collection For Love And Money (the capslock attack is in the original). The consequences of my realisation follow:

It was a dark and stormy night, the clerihews were dim...Collapse )
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Due to a collcetion of circumstances (being too poor to afford proper souvenirs, my father's expatriating, unashamedly obsessing over Nick Bantock's books, perfectly proportioning of the cards themselves) I've amassed a large stockpile of unused postcards from here and there. It seems that I might finally have a use for them in making further postcards to Mr. Bach Vu. While it lacks the spontenity and mystery of the original, I can't think of anything more appropriate (and vaguely pretentious) to use them for.

Since the original was mailed from Israel, I was wondering how to go about getting that elusive foreign postmark. I was contemplating on mailing them out to lj friends in various places in a sealed envelope, and then having the card sent to Toronto. If pbprincess doesn't mind more bizarre postcards arriving in her mailbox, that is.

Do let me know what you think and if you'd be willing to help. My travels take me to Salem shortly, and I've planned to send one from there with a drabble to match once it gets to Toronto.
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Deadly Postcards

A maladdressed missive arrived quite by chance
But Paper Bag Princess deciphered this clue:
A postcard depicting the peaceful Dead Sea
Whose back held a message for Mr Bach Vu.
Inelegant handwriting ordered a hit,
A client called Camren was giving the cue,
Instructions to, "Beat up the fat boy", were clear,
Requiring action from Mr Bach Vu.
But then the man moved into fictional form:
A likeness that Ms Chronographia drew
From post-midnight sight of our mystery man;
She sketched out a portrait of Mr Bach Vu.
So who is this character? What will he do?
We're seeking the stories of Mr Bach Vu.


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It's just struck me that my previous sketch of Mr. Vu bears a startling resemblance to just-released images of Lord Voldemort. Witness the nose and melancholic expression.

Coincidence? Or something altogether more sinister?

Or perhaps I am just plain psychic.

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Does anyone have any strong feelings about the correct pronunciation of Vu?

I've been assuming voo but am open to alternatives.

I'm considering writing a villainous villanelle.

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